Memento Vivere

Last April I had the words "memento vivere" permanently placed on my wrist. The Latin translation is "remember to live". My sister and many of my friends mocked me asking if I really needed a reminder to remember to live. I said no, that I didn't need the reminder in a literal sense, but from time to time I would need to remind myself of the adage. Truthfully, I didn't think I would need the reminder so soon.

I'm starting to get a little worried. I have a half marathon 2 months from this very minute. I am behind in my mileage. Its not intentional. I've been on antibiotics for a few weeks now and I sound like I have been smoking several packs a day for years. I've tried to run but I can't take air in without hacking. I tried today, went to to track and everything, and a quarter mile in I had to stop. I walked a few miles and then walked a few miles on the treadmill on an incline. I'm worried about my endurance. I'm worried because my achilles is a little achy. I'm sitting here, with ice on my ankles, and all of a sudden I looked down to my wrist. Memento Vivere.

By worrying about mileage I'm not living at all. If anything, it is taking away from me "living". I have to remind myself not to focus on the negative but the positive and, by doing so, I will (ideally) remember to live. A 15k in a month. A 21k (half marathon) in 2 months. It will get done. Maybe it won't be as fast as I want, but I will finish it. Only if I have fun while training will I be living. Otherwise I'll be miserable. What is the point of doing any of this if I am miserable. So, if anyone has any suggestions about how to make this fun again please let me know.

Part of the problem is I have always equated fit people and athletes with being able to run distances. Marathons. Half marathons. Going out and just running 5 miles on a Saturday. I have to find a way for my beliefs (in this regard) to change. I'm making a pledge to try new things to help change my beliefs. Once I can breathe again I am going to try a spin class, get into a Bikram class, TRX training, etc. I may bitch and moan during the process, but maybe that will just signify that I am living.