We plan and God laughs. I heard that expression years ago and didn't fully appreciate it. In fact, I don't know that I really understood it beyond the words until this afternoon. God has been laughing a lot lately in relation to my plans, so much so that he may be in hysterics. Such is life. I say that a lot but I'd be lying if I said I always believed it. Doing anything other than trying to get through each day with a smile and get done as much as I can is all that I've been able to try to do.
This weekend, when I originally planned it in February, was to be a big one. The Chicago Marathon was today. I signed up to run it with my friend Gen. Those plans fell by the wayside in May/June when I blew out my achilles tendon during a half marathon. (I had committed to raising money for Atticus Circle through the Chicago Marathon. Luckily I am able to do so through the Las Vegas Rock N'Roll Half Marathon in December.) Suddenly the Chicago Marathon (much less any full marathon) was not in my future. I've struggled a lot through the last few months without having the Chicago Marathon as a goal, something on the calendar that was definite and I was accountable for. The whole time that I was having issues finding my focus again, both in life and in terms of running, Gen was busy training. I have been so impressed with her the entire time. She never complained and was always positive. She gave me crap about hurting myself and being more careful, but it was sincere and never mean.
Today was the day. Even though I couldn't physically run it with Gen, and even though I have 50 balls in the air right now that I am trying not to drop, there was no way that I wasn't going to be there to watch her and support her. Since signing up for this race in February she has raised an enormous amount of money for cancer research. She has trained and managed to be an incredible wife, mother, as well as run a successful business. She has also been an incredible friend who has been there when many others haven't been. I knew that it may be difficult to be there and that I may be a little jealous of her while she ran, but I wasn't going to miss it. What I witnessed today was one of the most incredible acts of heroism that I have ever seen in my life. This is not something that I say lightly. It wasn't something that I thought I would see when the race started this morning.
I have been around athletics all my life even though I didn't always participate. When the inspirational sports pieces come out during the Olympics, Super Bowl, etc. I am always in tears. Those inspirational sports pieces make me more emotional than chick flicks, etc. I have always had the utmost respect for people who persevere and are able to do so despite enormous difficulty. In fact, I most often respect those people more than those with innate talent. As Vince Lombardi said, talent comes before work only in the dictionary.
Gen raised a ton of money in a very impressive manner. She dedicated/honored a different person with each mile. She truly cared. She had a "game plan" and was on track to meet it. Then she blew out her knee. She planned and God laughed. She went to the medics, who taped her and cleared her to finish. She was determined to finish the marathon as long as she wasn't harming herself, even if it wasn't according to her "game plan". Mind you, by the time that she hurt her knee at roughly the half way point she had been elbowed in the face, peed on (no, I am not kidding), and pushed around.
When we saw her at roughly mile 21 she was in pain. She tried to cover it up and was doing a very impressive job trying to do so. I kept my mouth shut. We walked with her through mile 24; at that point the course was barricaded and we couldn't walk with her any more. With each step I was more and more impressed with her and the true generosity and heroism she displayed with each and every painful step. She was carrying a Flip Video Camera with her so that she could record each and every mile and tape who she was dedicating/honoring with that mile --- she had carefully planned this before the start of the race. At mile 24 she pulled out the video camera and said that mile 24 was for me. I was so thankful that I was wearing sunglasses because I knew that showing the tears that were in my eyes at that point, while she was in so much pain yet had her mind set on finishing, wasn't appropriate. In fact, there were several points during those 3 miles that we walked with her that I was near tears. For 13 miles she put pain behind perseverance.
The last .5 miles of the Chicago Marathon is tough. I previously wrote about it after the Shamrock Shuffle in April. You see --- it is uphill. That is the last .5 miles of the Shamrock Shuffle as well. When Gen and I ran it during the Shamrock Shuffle my achilles was on fire. We made a deal to walk up the hill and then run it in for the last .2 miles. Part of the deal was that when we hit that point in the Chicago Marathon we would be running up that hill together. As Gen approached that final uphill I felt terrible, like I was letting her down and hadn't followed through on my promise. Gen was in pain, it was apparent to those who knew her, but she wasn't letting it on to anyone else. She was in pain but she somehow managed to jog the last .5 miles. I don't know how she did it. I don't know how she found the strength. But she did.
Watching Gen finish the Chicago Marathon, despite everything that was working against her, was one of the most gutsy and heroic things that I have ever seen in my life. She put those people she dedicated/honored first and put her "game plan" on the side to do it. She threw out ego and pain to put others first. I don't know that I could/would have done that. I am forever changed as a result of seeing it. It may not seem like much to you reading this but it meant so much to me. Gen personified the phrase, "we plan and God laughs." As a result of seeing her being so gutsy and heroic I understand the phrase a little more and I'm able to put everything in perspective a little more than I could 24 hours ago.
I'm not a particularly religious person, especially this year, when God has been laughing so hard. Yom Kippur was 24 hours ago. Yom Kippur is the most holy Jewish holiday. On Yom Kippur, even though I fasted as I am commanded to do as a Jew, I ran. To me the run was spiritual and I reflected during it. I reflected on the last year. I reflected on the miles I've run. I reflected on the laughter and tears. I reflected on the friends who have helped put the last year in perspective. I reflected on my siblings who I couldn't imagine living without. I reflected on making plans and having God laugh.
Between my Yom Kippur run and Gen's heroism today I think I'm better able to face the year ahead. My plans may fall by the wayside, however, I will continue to make them. I'll embrace the unexpected/unplanned a little more than I have in the past. I'll try to laugh a little bit more at the irony of it all.
When I signed up for the Chicago Marathon last year I expected that my life would change, in some ways, by the time I crossed the finish line. I expected crossing that finish line and being changed as a person. My expectations were met, even though not in the way I had planned. I learned a life lesson today through watching, rather than running, a marathon.
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