I'm in a tremendous amount of pain today. I have a very high pain threshold, so for me to say that means something. It is a pain that I haven't felt before --- on the outer part of my left arch. I took an ice bath as soon as the pain started, and followed with more ice. I got the appropriate medical care today. These type of pain are going to become more common as I increase my mileage, and I am going to have to make the decision if I can get through them. Part of me is saying that if I felt this much pain after 5.5 miles, how am I going to handle 13.1 (much less 26.2). The other part of me is saying that I can't quit because pain is temporary but pride is forever, and I know how much pride I will feel after accomplishing these goals.
I got a surprise package at the office today, one that made me smile in light of how crappy I felt. It was filled with Badger gear, specifically a Beat Michigan button. I immediately took pictures and put them on Facebook, especially in light of how much crap I have been getting from my Wisconsin friends.
My friends started to comment on Facebook, and when I got a chance I looked at the comments. In the course of looking at the comments, I came across another photo in my Mobile Uploads Folder. The photo hit me like a ton of bricks, especially when I realized that it was taken exactly one year ago today on St. Patrick's Day 2010.
I no longer know that woman in the middle. Even though there was a smile on my face, I wasn't happy. It was that picture, more than any other, that has made me realize how far I have come. It is that picture that gives me motivation to continue, even though I am in a lot of pain. It is because of that picture, and the person I see in that picture, that I won't allow myself to ever go backwards in this journey.
OK, so I am working through some injuries. I'm a bit down because my friends are starting to run a lot faster than I am, and right now I can't do that. My endurance ability is there, but I am hurt and I don't want to permanently hurt myself. I can't let my ego get me down despite how competitive I am. The important thing is finishing the race (i.e. finishing what I have started); it is personal and it has to be done at my own pace. I can't worry about what anyone else is doing or how fast they may be doing it.
Today I really learned that looking back and taking stock of how far you have come can get you where you want to be in the future. Last year on St. Patrick's Day I had Guinness; I pretended to be happy and consumed a lot of alcohol to mask what I was really feeling. This year on St. Patrick's Day I will have water; I am actually happy and it shows through in everything that I do, whether I am feeling pain or not.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, and Go Badgers!!!!
You can run the races, Serena. We both know that. You're one of the strongest women I've ever met in my life and I don't doubt for one second that you'll conquer everything you attempt to do. I'm crossing that 26.2 mile finish line right next to you and once we cross it, we'll most likely collapse on the ground and wonder what in hell we were thinking. But we'll be insanely proud of ourselves and one another!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteFinishing what you started ALSO means sticking with taking care of yourself and not being permanently hurt...you know this in your brain, but make sure your heart hears the message, too. I honestly don't know what you can do to combat the stir craziness (FB post), but please don't make your injuries worse! I want you to reach your goals - I just want you to be able to reach NEW goals after you heal. :)
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