Where has the time gone? Today is Labor Day --- the end of the summer. College football has started. NFL is about to start. School is back in session. The sun is starting to set earlier and the weather is getting cooler. I've fallen behind in blogging. Truth be told, I didn't know what to blog about. I'm not really a "runner" anymore. That is my own fault. You see I pushed myself too hard. I didn't listen to my body. I cared too much about "competing" with those around me and trying to prove myself as an athlete. As a result I haven't run since May and the Soldier Field 10 Miler.
This summer has been extremely painful in terms of my achilles tendon. I'm on medicine daily that screws with my system, although it does alleviate the pain. I've gained weight. Some on my own but most (truly) as a result of the medicine. Its not fun to look in the mirror and know that I can go to the gym and kick ass with weights and abs but still have this weight gain. Prednisone is evil in some regards but a godsend in others.
I started in July with a new trainer. He is amazing. We started with a long chat and I needed to make sure that he knew my limitations in terms of my achilles and I had to be honest with him, and make him promise that he wouldn't push me past those limitations because if I was feeling good that I would try to. (And thats how I ended up in this position in the first place.) He changes things up constantly. He knows that as much as I love plyometric activity that my achilles simply can't handle it. In almost 2 months I don't know that we have done the same work out twice, and easy session is an hour. I feel strong and I'm seeing more and more definition in my arms and shoulders. He is pushing me in those areas. I look forward to our sessions and am truly upset if I have to miss one.
About two weeks ago I also came to the realization, after admittedly being very motivated by a Nike add campaign, that I wasn't going to let my limitations stop me. I may be waiting for surgery (in a few months) and I may be taking meds that are screwing with my weight, but that doesn't mean I can't push myself in the gym and try to get in the best possible shape for the upcoming surgery. It will just make post surgery rehab so much easier. Moreover, it clears my mind and makes me happy. I've bought a Nike Fuelband; it tracks fuel points based on workouts and cardio activity. It is a way that I can track my work outs and also compete with myself (and others is I chose). It also helps me make sure that I am getting enough activity in even with my limitations.
Most important, though, this weekend I realized that when I was blogging about this fitness journey that I was being most accountable to me, to my trainer, and to my goals. Its important, therefore, that I make writing about my fitness journey a priority. So, I'm back. Things are different but that's life. Last week I was in Los Angeles and snuck in a work out at Runyon Canyon (my most favorite place to exercise); I hiked it instead of running --- even the downhill parts --- but it felt good to be outside and getting some exercise. Like I said, different, but still not bad.
Today I did 7 miles on the elliptical. I learned that in order to accurately track fuel points on the elliptical I need to NOT hold the arm handles (even though I am moving the arm handles), and instead need to mimmic the arm movements of running. I did the 7 miles at a 5.2 mph pace, so not terrible. I then took 3 lbs arm weights and for 20 minutes straight went from one movement to another. I know they were only 3 lbs, but after 20 minutes my shoulders felt it.
Some days my achilles is really bad after the gym. Other days t isn't so bad. I proactively ice every day and spend a lot of time stretching. No races in my future and I'm still struggling with how to "define" myself in terms of athletics (i.e. runner, jogger, soccer player [former life], etc.) but that will come with time.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Adrenaline, Injury, and Fear Lead To Unexpected Results
Life has been crazy. Some days it is hard to find enough time to just to get up, go to work, and TRY to get done everything that I need to. I'm not making excuses. Its just the way it is. My running hasn't been consistent. I have been dealing with a lot of achilles issues. No matter what I do or how much time I take off there is a constant ache. I told my cousin, Jake, that I would like to get to the point where I don't need to take Advil on a daily basis or wake up and dread that first step out of bed because of the pain in my right ankle. The thought (mind you, thought) of running conjured up pain. I have a limp when I walk. My ankle is constantly taped. Such is life.
I've had a few races since my last post several months ago. I haven't trained like I did a year ago. My diet hasn't been nearly as strict. I've had no business thinking I would do anything but finish these races. Truthfully, I went in with the mind set that I just was going to pace myself, run intervals, and not kill my achilles. It's funny how adrenaline and competitiveness can take you to unknown (and unimagined) places during a race.
On March 25, 2012, I ran the Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago. I went with my cousins Jake and Carrie. I had so much fun at that race last year that I wanted to do it again. I had no expectation other than finishing. We had a great time in Chicago the day before the race and just relaxed and had fun. We laid out our clothes the night before, made fun of Jake who had made a Shamrock Shuffle play list and had a special outfit planned, and just relaxed. The morning of the race I was much more low key than I had been last year. I also didn't make the mistake of drinking too much water --- figuring I would have to wait an ungodly amount of time in the start corral. We made plans to meet at the Fountain after the race. I told them I would be the slowest one of the bunch.
I wore KTape instead of my brace --- mistake number one. It is great stuff but just not as supportive. I wore my Michigan Sucks t-shirt instead of the Michigan clothing I had to wear as a result of the best last year. I didn't want to hurt myself. Truly I didn't. But a fire was lit in me for some unknown reason and I pushed myself in a way that I had never done before. I looked at my watch after crossing the finish line and couldn't believe it. I figured something had to be wrong. Had I missed a few miles? Then the pain started to set in --- I hadn't missed any part of that course. My achilles was throbbing and I could barely walk. I was ecstatic, though, about my unofficial time. I ad to stay in Chicago that night for work and was having dinner with friends. During dinner Carrie sent me a message with my official time. I couldn't believe it. I got back to the hotel and had to see it with my own eye.
.JPG)
This was unheard of for me. Truly. More than I EVER expected. I paid the price, though. I'm still paying the price.
A few weeks later I went to Los Angles. The Hollywood Half Marathon turned into the lower mileage race. I ran with a friend and we stuck to run/walk intervals. I iced thoroughly for several hours after. I took a ton of Advil. I needed to take a month off according to doctors. I ran one time during that month --- but I was kind of justified. I went to Madison, with college friends, for the Crazylegs Classic. The 5 mile race ends on the filed at Camp Randall; that is one of my most favorite places. I stuck to intervals. I stretched. I didn't push myself hard. Truly, I didn't. I ran in the rain and it was cold. I felt sore but not nearly as bad as the races before that.
This past weekend I went to Chicago, again, for the Soldier Field Ten Mile Race. I had no expectation because the prior weekend, without doing any type of exercise, I had the most excruciating ankle pains I had in nearly a year. I spent the weekend "on ice" and knew that walking, much less running, was going to be tough. I went to Chicago, though, for a variety of reasons. My cousin Jake came and ended up using the bib of one of my injured friends.
The week prior to the race was one of the worst I'd had in a long time. Unexpected twists and turns and situations I never imagined. I was ornery, overtired, not feeling great. I likely wasn't much fun to be around. I'll admit that. Little things that I would normally let slide by were pissing me off in a big way. I felt hurt and let down by other circumstances and that wasn't adding to my being real happy.
The morning of the race was even worse. I didn't sleep well and was dealing with work emails all night. We had to leave the hotel at 6 am to get to the start line. The initial cab driver asked us if we knew how to direct him to Soldier Field (no, I am not making this up --- it was his first day on the job). Instead of being hot and humid it was cold and rainy. I was by myself in the start corral and the race was starting slowly. I had stretched well and I had taken Advil. I was wearing my brace. I told myself I was going to run intervals and told Jake to expect that it would take me about 2 to 2.25 hours. I didn't want to push myself and hurt myself more. Then my anger kicked it and my general pissiness from the week before. That turned on the adrenaline --- which obviously masked the pain. Lets just say that the intervals didn't happen. Suddenly I wanted to prove that I could do this and do it well.
I had a sense around 5 miles that I was kicking ass. I didn't look at my watch because I knew if I did that I would stop myself. Around mile 9 the pain started to get more intense. I tried to ignore it and run though it, focus on the music and putting together that race I wanted to in Toronto last year. I was in the tunnel at Solider Field --- about to cross the finish line on the 50 yard line. I glanced at my watch. HOLY SHIT! It had to be wrong, I thought.
I crossed the finish line. I couldn't believe it. I hobbled to get my medal, a banana, some water, and find Jake --- who likely figured that he had time to kill. I was in pain and cramping. I had done it to myself. I am an adult and accept the consequences of my actions --- but had I seriously run the race that I did? My unofficial time was astounding to me.
The walk back to the hotel was necessary, but sucked. I knew I had to walk through the cramps. We got back to the hotel and I spent a lot of time stretching and icing. The train ride home --- the sitting without moving --- didn't help but I had to get home. I was tempted to check the web page and get my official time but things got crazy once I got home. My niece was born, I was watching my other niece (the 3 year old), I was trying to ice and stretch.
This morning I was curious. I checked the web site. My official time was even faster than I had thought.
.JPG)
I truly don't think I could string these two races together again --- EVER. As I sit here, with my ankle on ice and a constant stream of Advil throughout the day I can say that the pain sucks but part of me needed those times to prove to myself what I am capable of. Sure, I likely damaged my ability to ever run races like that again but I do have the memories. I'm an adult and I accept the consequences of the stupid things I've done. But I also think that had I not given it 110% that I may have always questioned if I could.
Since I hurt my ankle last year I've generally always held back; I've let fear conquer me. So this year --- without all of the training, nutrition, etc. I let go of the fear and look what happened? No one can ever tell me that I'm not an athlete (or wasn't an athlete). But why now? Why did it happen without the group of people that I had been running with the last year or so? Part of these results didn't feel as "real" without them there --- even though Jake and Carrie can attest to them.
What am I trying to say? I honestly don't know. This blog used to be more of an outlet --- a way to decompress, a reality check, a way to stay true to me. Now, that I won't (or shouldn't) be able to run for a while what is this blog going to be? What is my life going to be like without these things? Will I still be connected to some of my friend and the friendships that have developed without running? Will I feel as good about myself or that I am accomplishing as much? I guess I'll have to find out.
I've had a few races since my last post several months ago. I haven't trained like I did a year ago. My diet hasn't been nearly as strict. I've had no business thinking I would do anything but finish these races. Truthfully, I went in with the mind set that I just was going to pace myself, run intervals, and not kill my achilles. It's funny how adrenaline and competitiveness can take you to unknown (and unimagined) places during a race.
On March 25, 2012, I ran the Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago. I went with my cousins Jake and Carrie. I had so much fun at that race last year that I wanted to do it again. I had no expectation other than finishing. We had a great time in Chicago the day before the race and just relaxed and had fun. We laid out our clothes the night before, made fun of Jake who had made a Shamrock Shuffle play list and had a special outfit planned, and just relaxed. The morning of the race I was much more low key than I had been last year. I also didn't make the mistake of drinking too much water --- figuring I would have to wait an ungodly amount of time in the start corral. We made plans to meet at the Fountain after the race. I told them I would be the slowest one of the bunch.
I wore KTape instead of my brace --- mistake number one. It is great stuff but just not as supportive. I wore my Michigan Sucks t-shirt instead of the Michigan clothing I had to wear as a result of the best last year. I didn't want to hurt myself. Truly I didn't. But a fire was lit in me for some unknown reason and I pushed myself in a way that I had never done before. I looked at my watch after crossing the finish line and couldn't believe it. I figured something had to be wrong. Had I missed a few miles? Then the pain started to set in --- I hadn't missed any part of that course. My achilles was throbbing and I could barely walk. I was ecstatic, though, about my unofficial time. I ad to stay in Chicago that night for work and was having dinner with friends. During dinner Carrie sent me a message with my official time. I couldn't believe it. I got back to the hotel and had to see it with my own eye.
This was unheard of for me. Truly. More than I EVER expected. I paid the price, though. I'm still paying the price.
A few weeks later I went to Los Angles. The Hollywood Half Marathon turned into the lower mileage race. I ran with a friend and we stuck to run/walk intervals. I iced thoroughly for several hours after. I took a ton of Advil. I needed to take a month off according to doctors. I ran one time during that month --- but I was kind of justified. I went to Madison, with college friends, for the Crazylegs Classic. The 5 mile race ends on the filed at Camp Randall; that is one of my most favorite places. I stuck to intervals. I stretched. I didn't push myself hard. Truly, I didn't. I ran in the rain and it was cold. I felt sore but not nearly as bad as the races before that.
This past weekend I went to Chicago, again, for the Soldier Field Ten Mile Race. I had no expectation because the prior weekend, without doing any type of exercise, I had the most excruciating ankle pains I had in nearly a year. I spent the weekend "on ice" and knew that walking, much less running, was going to be tough. I went to Chicago, though, for a variety of reasons. My cousin Jake came and ended up using the bib of one of my injured friends.
The week prior to the race was one of the worst I'd had in a long time. Unexpected twists and turns and situations I never imagined. I was ornery, overtired, not feeling great. I likely wasn't much fun to be around. I'll admit that. Little things that I would normally let slide by were pissing me off in a big way. I felt hurt and let down by other circumstances and that wasn't adding to my being real happy.
The morning of the race was even worse. I didn't sleep well and was dealing with work emails all night. We had to leave the hotel at 6 am to get to the start line. The initial cab driver asked us if we knew how to direct him to Soldier Field (no, I am not making this up --- it was his first day on the job). Instead of being hot and humid it was cold and rainy. I was by myself in the start corral and the race was starting slowly. I had stretched well and I had taken Advil. I was wearing my brace. I told myself I was going to run intervals and told Jake to expect that it would take me about 2 to 2.25 hours. I didn't want to push myself and hurt myself more. Then my anger kicked it and my general pissiness from the week before. That turned on the adrenaline --- which obviously masked the pain. Lets just say that the intervals didn't happen. Suddenly I wanted to prove that I could do this and do it well.
I had a sense around 5 miles that I was kicking ass. I didn't look at my watch because I knew if I did that I would stop myself. Around mile 9 the pain started to get more intense. I tried to ignore it and run though it, focus on the music and putting together that race I wanted to in Toronto last year. I was in the tunnel at Solider Field --- about to cross the finish line on the 50 yard line. I glanced at my watch. HOLY SHIT! It had to be wrong, I thought.
I crossed the finish line. I couldn't believe it. I hobbled to get my medal, a banana, some water, and find Jake --- who likely figured that he had time to kill. I was in pain and cramping. I had done it to myself. I am an adult and accept the consequences of my actions --- but had I seriously run the race that I did? My unofficial time was astounding to me.
The walk back to the hotel was necessary, but sucked. I knew I had to walk through the cramps. We got back to the hotel and I spent a lot of time stretching and icing. The train ride home --- the sitting without moving --- didn't help but I had to get home. I was tempted to check the web page and get my official time but things got crazy once I got home. My niece was born, I was watching my other niece (the 3 year old), I was trying to ice and stretch.
This morning I was curious. I checked the web site. My official time was even faster than I had thought.
I truly don't think I could string these two races together again --- EVER. As I sit here, with my ankle on ice and a constant stream of Advil throughout the day I can say that the pain sucks but part of me needed those times to prove to myself what I am capable of. Sure, I likely damaged my ability to ever run races like that again but I do have the memories. I'm an adult and I accept the consequences of the stupid things I've done. But I also think that had I not given it 110% that I may have always questioned if I could.
Since I hurt my ankle last year I've generally always held back; I've let fear conquer me. So this year --- without all of the training, nutrition, etc. I let go of the fear and look what happened? No one can ever tell me that I'm not an athlete (or wasn't an athlete). But why now? Why did it happen without the group of people that I had been running with the last year or so? Part of these results didn't feel as "real" without them there --- even though Jake and Carrie can attest to them.
What am I trying to say? I honestly don't know. This blog used to be more of an outlet --- a way to decompress, a reality check, a way to stay true to me. Now, that I won't (or shouldn't) be able to run for a while what is this blog going to be? What is my life going to be like without these things? Will I still be connected to some of my friend and the friendships that have developed without running? Will I feel as good about myself or that I am accomplishing as much? I guess I'll have to find out.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sometimes Life Happens --- A Look Back
I'm embarrassed. I haven't been following through with my promises. It isn't like I have been a sloth. I have been working out. Admittedly, though, not with the same frequency and intensity as I once did. The truth is that I feel it and its catching up to me. I don't have as much energy. My mind isn't as clear. I don't feel as strong as I once did.
I broke my wrist. I used that as an excuse. I couldn't life weights and do a lot of the things that I like to do at the gym. Holding onto the Arc Trainer was tough. It wasn't a valid excuse. I can admit that now. I let it get in the way. Boy am I feeling the effects of it now.
Last year at this time I was so incredibly happy with the shape that I was in. I had spent so much time in the gym and given my blood, sweat, and tears to make progress. I liked feeling strong. I liked pushing myself in the gym. I liked seeing progress. I loved my trainer Liberdy. I loved my gym. I was so proud of who I was at this time last year and started to define myself differently. I was starting to define myself, at least in part, as an athlete.
I look back on the last year --- especially with Mardi Gras being tomorrow. Last year over Mardi Gras I was in Milwaukee (after catching Muses, of course). I was starting to have some achilles issues but I had in in check. I was comfortably running 6-7 miles. It wasn't necessarily fast, but I was doing it regularly. Tonight I was sucking wind with 5 miles. Last year I never could have imagined what the coming year would bring. Some has been good. Some has been bad. But either way it is all part of my reality now.
When I moved back to Milwaukee in August I didn't necessarily envision things the way they are. I miss a lot of my friends terribly. I miss a city that I love and will always be in my heart. I miss being able to be outdoors so much of the year and a park that I loved to run in. I miss having friends who I could run with. But, there are positives. My sister, brother-in-law, and niece moved here shortly after I did and I have loved almost every minute of being able to spend time with them. I love that I can watch my youngest sister play competitive tennis and grow into an incredible young woman. I love the random dinners with my father and my sisters or everyone gathering at one of our houses for a Badgers game (or even a Packers or Saints game). I love spending time with my cousins and being able to get together regularly. I love that we don't have to travel to be together on the holidays. I've cherished this time, truly. Memories have been created.
My job is great, truly. I respect my partners and enjoy my work. I am proud of the firm that I work for and the work that we do. I'm busy and have been trying to balance it all. Some weeks are good and some aren't as good. I can say, though, that I have grown as a person professionally. I play "good cop" more than "bad cop", which is admittedly new to me. I'm having fun, though, even though I am pretty exhausted right now.
So, after allowing me to wax poetic you may be wondering how in the hell does this have to do with running. Well, it is my "apology" of sorts. I look back on my previous posts and see that I haven't been true to myself and my promises to me. A large part of the reason that I made so much progress is that I finally was putting myself first. I was saying no to others when it interfered with "me" time and didn't feel badly about doing so. My doing that made me better balanced and able to deal with the challenges that life brings. I haven't been doing that. I can trace to, in part, to my decline. Don't get me wrong --- when I say "decline" its not as if I have gained all of the weight that I lost, that I'm eating ridiculously, or that I'm reverting completely. What I mean, though, is that I haven't been spending as much time in the gym. I haven't been spending as much time on stress relief. I haven't been spending as much time working on me.
My birthday is next week. I've accomplished a lot in the last year. These things can't be taken away from me. I finished two half marathons. Two. Were they perfect? No. Did I finish? Yes. I trained, I became stronger, I started to truly believe in myself. I raised money, through one of the half marathons, for a cause that I feel strongly about --- a cause that several years ago I may not have been vocal about. I've gotten so much closer to my sisters and learned to truly lean on them both as support systems. My father and I are as close as we once were. I can't tell you how much that means to me. When I think of the coming year the one thing that I don't want is to look back on this blog a year from now and feel like I let myself down.
So that I make sure that is not the case I have to be more realistic with myself and I have to also be good to me. I have to understand that some nights I might not be able to get in a full work out, but getting in a bit of a work out is better than spending the time working and not doing anything for me. I have to understand that I may never be as fast as others and that as hard as I train I may never be that fast, but that I am doing more than the people sitting on their couches talking about running the race. I have to understand that I need to find someone like Liberdy who pushes me, even with the injuries, and forces me to push myself farther than I thought I could (keeping my injuries in mind); I need this person to constantly change things up so that no two workouts are the same and so that I can't anticipate what is coming. I have to understand that this may take a bit to implement but that doesn't mean I can sit still while it is in the works. And most important, I have to understand that it is OK for me to take the time to do things that make me happy.
Tonight I ran 5 miles. It was slower than it was a year ago. It didn't feel nearly as good as it did a year ago. But I did it. That has to count for something. Many races coming up. Time to get serious.
I broke my wrist. I used that as an excuse. I couldn't life weights and do a lot of the things that I like to do at the gym. Holding onto the Arc Trainer was tough. It wasn't a valid excuse. I can admit that now. I let it get in the way. Boy am I feeling the effects of it now.
Last year at this time I was so incredibly happy with the shape that I was in. I had spent so much time in the gym and given my blood, sweat, and tears to make progress. I liked feeling strong. I liked pushing myself in the gym. I liked seeing progress. I loved my trainer Liberdy. I loved my gym. I was so proud of who I was at this time last year and started to define myself differently. I was starting to define myself, at least in part, as an athlete.
I look back on the last year --- especially with Mardi Gras being tomorrow. Last year over Mardi Gras I was in Milwaukee (after catching Muses, of course). I was starting to have some achilles issues but I had in in check. I was comfortably running 6-7 miles. It wasn't necessarily fast, but I was doing it regularly. Tonight I was sucking wind with 5 miles. Last year I never could have imagined what the coming year would bring. Some has been good. Some has been bad. But either way it is all part of my reality now.
When I moved back to Milwaukee in August I didn't necessarily envision things the way they are. I miss a lot of my friends terribly. I miss a city that I love and will always be in my heart. I miss being able to be outdoors so much of the year and a park that I loved to run in. I miss having friends who I could run with. But, there are positives. My sister, brother-in-law, and niece moved here shortly after I did and I have loved almost every minute of being able to spend time with them. I love that I can watch my youngest sister play competitive tennis and grow into an incredible young woman. I love the random dinners with my father and my sisters or everyone gathering at one of our houses for a Badgers game (or even a Packers or Saints game). I love spending time with my cousins and being able to get together regularly. I love that we don't have to travel to be together on the holidays. I've cherished this time, truly. Memories have been created.
My job is great, truly. I respect my partners and enjoy my work. I am proud of the firm that I work for and the work that we do. I'm busy and have been trying to balance it all. Some weeks are good and some aren't as good. I can say, though, that I have grown as a person professionally. I play "good cop" more than "bad cop", which is admittedly new to me. I'm having fun, though, even though I am pretty exhausted right now.
So, after allowing me to wax poetic you may be wondering how in the hell does this have to do with running. Well, it is my "apology" of sorts. I look back on my previous posts and see that I haven't been true to myself and my promises to me. A large part of the reason that I made so much progress is that I finally was putting myself first. I was saying no to others when it interfered with "me" time and didn't feel badly about doing so. My doing that made me better balanced and able to deal with the challenges that life brings. I haven't been doing that. I can trace to, in part, to my decline. Don't get me wrong --- when I say "decline" its not as if I have gained all of the weight that I lost, that I'm eating ridiculously, or that I'm reverting completely. What I mean, though, is that I haven't been spending as much time in the gym. I haven't been spending as much time on stress relief. I haven't been spending as much time working on me.
My birthday is next week. I've accomplished a lot in the last year. These things can't be taken away from me. I finished two half marathons. Two. Were they perfect? No. Did I finish? Yes. I trained, I became stronger, I started to truly believe in myself. I raised money, through one of the half marathons, for a cause that I feel strongly about --- a cause that several years ago I may not have been vocal about. I've gotten so much closer to my sisters and learned to truly lean on them both as support systems. My father and I are as close as we once were. I can't tell you how much that means to me. When I think of the coming year the one thing that I don't want is to look back on this blog a year from now and feel like I let myself down.
So that I make sure that is not the case I have to be more realistic with myself and I have to also be good to me. I have to understand that some nights I might not be able to get in a full work out, but getting in a bit of a work out is better than spending the time working and not doing anything for me. I have to understand that I may never be as fast as others and that as hard as I train I may never be that fast, but that I am doing more than the people sitting on their couches talking about running the race. I have to understand that I need to find someone like Liberdy who pushes me, even with the injuries, and forces me to push myself farther than I thought I could (keeping my injuries in mind); I need this person to constantly change things up so that no two workouts are the same and so that I can't anticipate what is coming. I have to understand that this may take a bit to implement but that doesn't mean I can sit still while it is in the works. And most important, I have to understand that it is OK for me to take the time to do things that make me happy.
Tonight I ran 5 miles. It was slower than it was a year ago. It didn't feel nearly as good as it did a year ago. But I did it. That has to count for something. Many races coming up. Time to get serious.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Today is my January 1.
It has been over a month. The truth is that I don't have a good reason for not posting. Things got busy with the holidays and end of the year craziness. There was a bit of a "what do I do now" after the half that, admittedly, led to a little bit of holiday malaise. Sure, I got a little sick after the half but that really isn't a valid excuse. The truth is that I got a little lazy. When things weren't as focused health wise my right arm came more into focus.
Since 11/4/11 my right arm had been really bothering me. I initially thought it was "tennis elbow" from playing so much more. I switched rackets, etc. Between Bio Freeze and ibuprofen/naprosyn it was able to manage the pain. Right before Thanksgiving it got really bad again and I took two courses of pain meds. But it got bad again in mid to late December. I have a very high pain threshold. I know that. But it got so bad that I went to the doctor again. It was apparently a partially torn muscle. I was really upset. But the thing it that it kept getting worse. It was so bad that I called one of my best friends, as doctor, and sought her advice. My friend and I have this running joke because I don't really like to seek medical attention. If it gets to the point where I am speaking to her it is bad --- she knows that. (We have known each other for a long time and gone through a lot together.) I called a doctor but couldn't get an appointment until after the first of the year.
So, off to California I went for the Rose Bowl armed with anti-inflammatory meds and Bio Freeze. Nothing was going to keep me from Runyon Canyon on 1/2/12 --- even if my arm was falling off. There is something about Runyon Canyon that I love. It is my most favorite place in LA and I am at peace --- actual, honest to God peace --- when I am there. So, I woke up at 5:15 a.m. and drove to Runyon to get in 2 loops before the Rose Bowl. It was magical --- absolutely magical. I looked at the city from high above and felt calm. I have spent a lot of time running in Runyon over the last year or so and I thought about my first time there and how far I had come. Sure, I have a long way to go but it made me feel like I had accomplished something. It made me feel more accomplished than half marathons, etc. There is something very fulfilling about running in the hills and getting to the top and looking down.
The day was gorgeous. Sun was out. Amazing weather --- a far cry from the weather in Wisconsin. I was with some of my best friends and I was watching my most favorite team. I knew the critics said we were going to get blown away but I had faith. I had to believe in something after the last year. I thought about the Rose Bowl the year before and how I never imagined the year would bring what it did. But that was behind me and a new year was ahead of me. A year of promise. The game was exciting but in the end my Badgers lost. The loss hurt a lot more this year. It truly stung. Here I was in California with great friends and so lucky to be watching my team in a BCS Bowl for the second year in a row. But I was pissed. I was feeling sluggish, and truthfully kind of down on myself.
I flew home the next day and have been slammed at work. I went to the doctor, a different one, and the results were not what I had hoped. A soft cast came and a hard cast is to follow. The injury is worth than I thought and it isn't the result of tennis. The injury is the result of kettle bells and trying to get through it and making it worse. It is amazing how limited you are with a cast on your wrist. I had never really thought about it. Don't get me wrong. I know that if this is the worst thing that happens to me than I can't complain. But it has already been too long since I have been able to do planks, lift weights like I wanted to, do the elliptical with arms, etc. I tried a Spin class with the cast and that didn't go well. I understand that I am supposed to be using my legs and my core but you balance yourself with your hand/wrist/forearm. That made everything worse.
And then the Saints lost. I love two teams --- the Badgers and the Saints. The Badgers lost so my football hopes were tied to the Saints. Both teams fought hard. Both teams lost. I felt deflated. I felt defeated. I had no motivation to do anything other than lie on my couch, watch Bravo TV, and wallow.
I was getting down, feeling more sluggish, and couldn't figure out what to do to feel better. In the interim I signed up for a few races thinking (and hoping) that would help. I signed up for:
I don't know many of you who are reading this. That may be better becaise I won't be able to put a face to a name, etc. But the act of doing it --- putting the good and the bad out there --- is a way of showing myself that I am "all in". I'm never going to be the one who wins the race but I am going to be the one who finishes. Believe it or not to me it really isn't about winning but about finishing and putting in the time.
I know this post rambled. Parts don't make sense except in my head. Months from now, though, I hope it does.
It may be 1/16/12 --- but I'm treating today as if it is 1/1/12. Today the years starts anew. Today is when I made my promise to myself not to wollow, not to judge myself, but simply to do and follow through.
Since 11/4/11 my right arm had been really bothering me. I initially thought it was "tennis elbow" from playing so much more. I switched rackets, etc. Between Bio Freeze and ibuprofen/naprosyn it was able to manage the pain. Right before Thanksgiving it got really bad again and I took two courses of pain meds. But it got bad again in mid to late December. I have a very high pain threshold. I know that. But it got so bad that I went to the doctor again. It was apparently a partially torn muscle. I was really upset. But the thing it that it kept getting worse. It was so bad that I called one of my best friends, as doctor, and sought her advice. My friend and I have this running joke because I don't really like to seek medical attention. If it gets to the point where I am speaking to her it is bad --- she knows that. (We have known each other for a long time and gone through a lot together.) I called a doctor but couldn't get an appointment until after the first of the year.
So, off to California I went for the Rose Bowl armed with anti-inflammatory meds and Bio Freeze. Nothing was going to keep me from Runyon Canyon on 1/2/12 --- even if my arm was falling off. There is something about Runyon Canyon that I love. It is my most favorite place in LA and I am at peace --- actual, honest to God peace --- when I am there. So, I woke up at 5:15 a.m. and drove to Runyon to get in 2 loops before the Rose Bowl. It was magical --- absolutely magical. I looked at the city from high above and felt calm. I have spent a lot of time running in Runyon over the last year or so and I thought about my first time there and how far I had come. Sure, I have a long way to go but it made me feel like I had accomplished something. It made me feel more accomplished than half marathons, etc. There is something very fulfilling about running in the hills and getting to the top and looking down.
 |
| View from the top. |
 |
| Another view from the top. The city enveloped in fog. |
 |
| Shows the path. |
 |
| Another view of the path. |
 |
| Yet another view. |
 |
| Me at the top. Don't worry, the short says "Michigan Sucks". I couldn't wear yellow to the game because of Oregon. |
The day was gorgeous. Sun was out. Amazing weather --- a far cry from the weather in Wisconsin. I was with some of my best friends and I was watching my most favorite team. I knew the critics said we were going to get blown away but I had faith. I had to believe in something after the last year. I thought about the Rose Bowl the year before and how I never imagined the year would bring what it did. But that was behind me and a new year was ahead of me. A year of promise. The game was exciting but in the end my Badgers lost. The loss hurt a lot more this year. It truly stung. Here I was in California with great friends and so lucky to be watching my team in a BCS Bowl for the second year in a row. But I was pissed. I was feeling sluggish, and truthfully kind of down on myself.
 |
| One of my best friends from college. Amazing friend. Amazing doctor. Someone who is always there good or bad. |
 |
| Amazing time with amazing friends at the game. |
I flew home the next day and have been slammed at work. I went to the doctor, a different one, and the results were not what I had hoped. A soft cast came and a hard cast is to follow. The injury is worth than I thought and it isn't the result of tennis. The injury is the result of kettle bells and trying to get through it and making it worse. It is amazing how limited you are with a cast on your wrist. I had never really thought about it. Don't get me wrong. I know that if this is the worst thing that happens to me than I can't complain. But it has already been too long since I have been able to do planks, lift weights like I wanted to, do the elliptical with arms, etc. I tried a Spin class with the cast and that didn't go well. I understand that I am supposed to be using my legs and my core but you balance yourself with your hand/wrist/forearm. That made everything worse.
And then the Saints lost. I love two teams --- the Badgers and the Saints. The Badgers lost so my football hopes were tied to the Saints. Both teams fought hard. Both teams lost. I felt deflated. I felt defeated. I had no motivation to do anything other than lie on my couch, watch Bravo TV, and wallow.
I was getting down, feeling more sluggish, and couldn't figure out what to do to feel better. In the interim I signed up for a few races thinking (and hoping) that would help. I signed up for:
- The Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle on March on 3/25 (www.shamrockshuffle.com) because that is what started it all last year.
- Tomorrow I am signing up for the Crazylegs Classic in Madison on 4/28 (www.crazylegsclassic.com) because it is in Madison and I hope to be able to run it with friends from college.
- I signed up for the Solider Field 10 Miler on 5/26 (www.soldierfield10.com) because some friends loved it last year and one of my good friends who doesn't usually run agreed to do it with me.
- Finally, I signed up for the Summerfest Rock n'Sole Half Marathon on 6/23 (www.rocknsolerun.com) because it is in my back yard and it gives me something to work for.
I don't know many of you who are reading this. That may be better becaise I won't be able to put a face to a name, etc. But the act of doing it --- putting the good and the bad out there --- is a way of showing myself that I am "all in". I'm never going to be the one who wins the race but I am going to be the one who finishes. Believe it or not to me it really isn't about winning but about finishing and putting in the time.
I know this post rambled. Parts don't make sense except in my head. Months from now, though, I hope it does.
It may be 1/16/12 --- but I'm treating today as if it is 1/1/12. Today the years starts anew. Today is when I made my promise to myself not to wollow, not to judge myself, but simply to do and follow through.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Two Half Marathons In A Year. I Still Can't Believe It.
 |
| Hitting the wall at mile 11.5 or so, but still trying to have fun. I look like I could kill someone at that moment. |
I am typing this as I am sitting on the plane flying home from Vegas. Less than 24 hours ago I crossed the finish line; I was still running at this time yesterday (well, run/walk intervals to be fair). I’m not going to lie --- it was a miserable experience. It was really cold. It started to rain (in the desert mind you). They ran out of water and Cytomax. The course was crowded and didn’t really have port-o-lets. Hell, they ran out of medals. If I had been one of the people to finish and not get a medal I would have been pissed. It was cool running on parts (recall, I say PARTS) of the Strip at night but with 44,000 runners it was way too crowded. Plus, starting a half marathon at 5:30 p.m. is really tough. It screws up your eating for the day, hydration, etc.
I didn’t have a great race. In fact, I was slower than I was with a torn Achilles tendon. That said I finished. I am flying home without crutches and without needing surgical repair of my body. I never stopped despite hitting the wall at mile 10 or so and getting terrible cramps all over my legs (that conveniently hit at the same time) around mile 11.5-12. When I synced my watch with my computer I had to laugh. The last 3.1 miles took, in essence, 53 minutes; I wanted to run more of it (well, really any of it) but the cramping was terrible. I was dehydrated and I didn’t use GU.
Don’t get me wrong. I had an amazing time in Vegas. I spent time with friends, watched my Badgers win the first Big Ten Football Championship, relaxed, and slept pretty well. As much as people always say it is YOUR race and not to think of anyone else --- let’s face it, that is horse shit. We are all competitive people and we (especially me) don’t like it when we don’t do our best. I know that I am never going to be a 2:10-2:15 half marathoner. I have natural abilities and no matter how hard I work that is not going to be my speed. But based on my training runs and how I felt after them I really thought that 2:30-2:40 was realistic and very doable. That is why I am upset. Mind you no one in my group had a good race, which makes the “pain” a little better, but it still sucks.
In the grand scheme, though, I am taking it in stride. I look back to last year at this time. All of this was still a pipe dream them. I had signed up for the half in Toronto but there were, admittedly, still doubts whether I would do it. Fast forward a year and I have finished 2 half marathons; one after surgery. Two this year. Most people don’t ever do one, much less two. Yes, I can improve and do them better, but I did them. I set out to do them and didn’t quit. I did them faster than some people and slower than others, but I finished both of them. I increased my life expectancy through exercise and pushed myself in ways I never thought possible. I learned that sometimes it is OK to quit, and that you may even save yourself some pretty severe injuries by doing so. I could have quit after my surgery. That would have certainly been easier. It may have been less painful and I may have spent a lot less time icing various body parts after runs, but it wouldn’t have been the same life experience.
Through this journey I was able to raise money for charity, simply through the act of running. I apologize to all of y’all who continuously told me that you were trying to make donations and there were issues with this link for Atticus Circle. They keep telling me that they are working on it. It is a great organization and I believe in it strongly. I encourage others to pick a nonprofit you believe in and raise money for than organization through running. Even though the race is over I would love it if you would consider making a donation to Atticus Circle (www.atticuscircle.org).
I’ve laughed a lot through this journey --- and my friends have laughed a lot at me. I’m an easy target. I am a bit neurotic and like to be prepared. I had enough GU, Cliff Shot Blocks, Gatorade, Propel, water, BioFreeze, calf compression sleeves, hats, gloves, etc. for everyone in my group this weekend. (In hindsight, it’s a shame we didn’t bring more of it with us to the race as we could have used it on the course.) I read about new running gear and I buy it. I’m an easy sell in that regard. In the last year and a half I have accumulated more running gear than most can imagine. Despite the gear and being made fun of, I have legitimately laughed with my friends while going through this. Last night as we hobbled into the hotel --- dehydrated, sore, hungry, etc. --- we couldn’t do anything but laugh. It was laughing that only we will share as we were there in the moment.
This was my last race of the year. I’m going to take a month off of running now to let my body finally heal. I’ll start up again in January. There will be another 10 mile race in May. I think that distance will be much better for me. There will be some 5Ks and 10Ks thrown in there. No half marathons for a while, though. I don’t need them to say I’m a runner. What I have learned in the last year is that even though I may not “look” like a runner I feel like a runner more often than not. I get out there and do it, which is more than most people will ever do. I finish races, albeit more slowly than most, but I finish them.
Next year I am going to focus on form and figuring out how to run these things in a way that I don’t hit the wall. I am also going to really focus on the shorter distances and getting faster at those shorter distances. I have seen the improvement in that regard and want to continue on that path. Plus, its much easier and less time consuming to train for those distances.
I know this post has been random. I am sitting on a plane and there is, frankly, a lot going through my head as I think about the last year in terms of my running. I’ve put in a lot of miles. Some have felt amazing and some have really hurt. I peed my pants during a race last April. I tore my Achilles during a race last May. I ran two 5Ks with my college roommate --- and I assure you that 18 years ago neither of us ever imagined we would have done that. I ran two half marathons. I went an entire year without gaining any weight. I raised $2600 for Atticus Circle simply through running. I became someone who can’t sit on a couch for days on end and do nothing; I need to exercise. When everything is said and done, I guess that isn’t so bad.
Below are some photos from this weekend.
 |
| Pre-race. It was freezing outside so we stayed inside as long as we could after checking our gear. |
 |
| Start line waiting to start the race and trying to keep warm. |
 |
| Wisconsin Pride, especially after winning the Big Ten Championship the night before. ROSE BOWL! |
 |
| Finish line. Mylar and medals. |
 |
| More mylar and medals. |
 |
| Wisconsin pride extended beyond the race. Post race. Back at the hotel trying to hydrate and eat something. |
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Who Would Have Thought
I remember it all too clearly. It was a Saturday in early April. I had just flown into Chicago early that morning. The week had been a long one and I was working on little to no sleep. The next day was my first "test"; I would be running the 8K Shamrock Shuffle with my friend Gen. I had been getting over initial issues with my achilles and thought I was on the mend. The Toronto Half Marathon was 2 months away. The Chicago Marathon was 6 months away --- literally. I was excited to be in Chicago with my friends and at the prospect of running.
I met Gen and Brooke for lunch. Gen mentioned this half marathon in Las Vegas that she wanted to do. After all, they would shut down the Strip for the race. Why not? I told her that I was in. After all, it wasn't until December 4 and it was only early April. In the coming weeks I continued to have issues with my achilles. I finished my first half marathon over Memorial Day in Toronto but tore my achilles in the process. Surgery followed. The Chicago Marathon was not longer an option as a result, but Vegas was still in the picture. In fact, I signed up for Vegas while I was on crutches after the half marathon in Toronto --- I was just back home but hadn't had surgery yet. It was something that was going to help push me.
There was surgery, there were casts, there was PT. My achilles improved and my confident waxed and wained. I moved from New Orleans back to Wisconsin and encountered new challenges in terms of life (as well as amazing new things). Training was up and down with both good and bad days. But, here I am. Tomorrow morning I get on a plane to go to Vegas. On Sunday I will compete in my second half marathon during this calendar year. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would do this. I almost have to pinch myself.
As I left the office tonight my colleagues were wishing me luck. The last few weeks they have been amazing and incredibly supportive --- especially this week as I have battled the stomach flu and have worried about hydration levels. I'm nervous about the race. I know that I will finish it but I worry about my time and getting it done in the way that I would like to. I suppose there will always be another opportunity if I don't do what I set out to do with this race.
In the process I've come across some amazing people. In fact, just today I was incredibly surprised by a woman named Mandy who works with the Yurbuds company. (As an aside, this company is amazing and really cares about its customers. If you do not already use its products I encourage you to as they are the most amazing earphones for runners ever invented and that is not something that I say lightly). Mandy went out of her way, when she didn't have to, to make sure this company stood my its product and get me new earphones so that I wasn't without on Sunday. My earphones had broke last week and this is a company that is standing by its product and replacing it even though I couldn't find the receipt. People usually don't do that anymore. Many and Yurbuds, though, went out of their way because they wanted to help me make sure that I have a great race on Sunday. That meant so much to me. My trainer current trainer in Milwaukee (Matt Bartz) and my former trainer in New Orleans (Liberdy Welsh) are two more incredible people who have been a part of this journey. Without them I don't know that I would have "gotten up" after some of the bad runs and they encouraged me to stick with it.
There are the incredible people who have donated money to Atticus Circle in support of my run. These people have believed in me enough to donate money to this incredible organization. They have done so without question because they know that it is important to me. I am very thankful and appreciative and am sincere when I say how lucky I am to have them in my life.
Then there are the 4 amazing women who are crazy enough to come to Vegas and run on Sunday. I am so excited to spend time with them this weekend and relax. I am thanking them in advance for being brave enough to watch the Big Ten Championship Game with me on Saturday night and being willing to don Badger clothes in the process. I am thankful that they have followed through and are going to Vegas with me to run. I love that these are some of the only people who will be able to get me to stay awake past 10 p.m.
December 1 of last year I never would have imagined that a year later I would be able to say that I finished to half marathons in 2011. Anything is possible and I'll see you at the finish line on Sunday night.
I met Gen and Brooke for lunch. Gen mentioned this half marathon in Las Vegas that she wanted to do. After all, they would shut down the Strip for the race. Why not? I told her that I was in. After all, it wasn't until December 4 and it was only early April. In the coming weeks I continued to have issues with my achilles. I finished my first half marathon over Memorial Day in Toronto but tore my achilles in the process. Surgery followed. The Chicago Marathon was not longer an option as a result, but Vegas was still in the picture. In fact, I signed up for Vegas while I was on crutches after the half marathon in Toronto --- I was just back home but hadn't had surgery yet. It was something that was going to help push me.
There was surgery, there were casts, there was PT. My achilles improved and my confident waxed and wained. I moved from New Orleans back to Wisconsin and encountered new challenges in terms of life (as well as amazing new things). Training was up and down with both good and bad days. But, here I am. Tomorrow morning I get on a plane to go to Vegas. On Sunday I will compete in my second half marathon during this calendar year. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would do this. I almost have to pinch myself.
As I left the office tonight my colleagues were wishing me luck. The last few weeks they have been amazing and incredibly supportive --- especially this week as I have battled the stomach flu and have worried about hydration levels. I'm nervous about the race. I know that I will finish it but I worry about my time and getting it done in the way that I would like to. I suppose there will always be another opportunity if I don't do what I set out to do with this race.
In the process I've come across some amazing people. In fact, just today I was incredibly surprised by a woman named Mandy who works with the Yurbuds company. (As an aside, this company is amazing and really cares about its customers. If you do not already use its products I encourage you to as they are the most amazing earphones for runners ever invented and that is not something that I say lightly). Mandy went out of her way, when she didn't have to, to make sure this company stood my its product and get me new earphones so that I wasn't without on Sunday. My earphones had broke last week and this is a company that is standing by its product and replacing it even though I couldn't find the receipt. People usually don't do that anymore. Many and Yurbuds, though, went out of their way because they wanted to help me make sure that I have a great race on Sunday. That meant so much to me. My trainer current trainer in Milwaukee (Matt Bartz) and my former trainer in New Orleans (Liberdy Welsh) are two more incredible people who have been a part of this journey. Without them I don't know that I would have "gotten up" after some of the bad runs and they encouraged me to stick with it.
There are the incredible people who have donated money to Atticus Circle in support of my run. These people have believed in me enough to donate money to this incredible organization. They have done so without question because they know that it is important to me. I am very thankful and appreciative and am sincere when I say how lucky I am to have them in my life.
Then there are the 4 amazing women who are crazy enough to come to Vegas and run on Sunday. I am so excited to spend time with them this weekend and relax. I am thanking them in advance for being brave enough to watch the Big Ten Championship Game with me on Saturday night and being willing to don Badger clothes in the process. I am thankful that they have followed through and are going to Vegas with me to run. I love that these are some of the only people who will be able to get me to stay awake past 10 p.m.
December 1 of last year I never would have imagined that a year later I would be able to say that I finished to half marathons in 2011. Anything is possible and I'll see you at the finish line on Sunday night.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
My "Achilles Heel"
My freshman year in high school we spent the first semester of English class studying Greek mythology. I read The Iliad and The Odyssey, however, it wasn't until I got to college that I realized how important those studies had been. There were important metaphors in those tales. In the last few days I have thought of one in particular --- the story about Achilles.
The story is that when Achilles was a baby that it was foretold that he would die in battle from an arrow in the foot. To prevent his death his mother took him to the River Styx, which was supposed to offer powers on invincibility. His mother dipped Achilles' body into the water, however, she held him by the heel. His heel, therefore, wasn't washed over by the magical water. Achilles grew up to be a man of war; he survived many incredible battles and was thought of as a hero. One day a poisonous arrow was shot at him and was lodged in his heel --- the arrow killed him as his heel hadn't been protected by the water. It is from Greek mythology that the expression of an "Achilles heel" came to be known as someone's area of weakness,
For me, at least in relation to running, my "achilles heel" is my achilles tendon. My achilles tendon holds me back and I always have a nagging sense of fear (well, maybe not that strong) that I am going to hurt it again and really be out of the game for a long time. My achilles tendon starts to cramp after 5 or so miles and no matter what I do or how much endurance I have, the cramps come. Then comes the inflammation, the stretching, the ice baths, and a little bit of limping. My achilles tendon was doing pretty well post-surgery until my mileage started to increase. Now, as the half-marathon is just about 2 weeks away I am feeling the training more than ever. I want to do well in the race but at the same time I don't want to push myself so hard that I hurt myself.
I have honestly grown to love running. Mind you I am not saying that I'm good at it, but I truly like it. The last two weeks it just hasn't been as fun, though. I've been logging the miles because I know that I have to in order to train properly but I can't say it has always brought a smile to my face. I can't wait for the half-marathon to be over because then I will be able to go back to running because I want to and run the distances that I want to when I want to. Sure, I will likely still wear my watch but that is more to feed my "inner geek" with the stats than the actual time on the clock.
I've also been frustrated because I am about $600 away from my fundraising goal. I really want to meet my fundraising goal. I am sick of sending out emails asking people to donate to a cause that i deem worthy and meaningful. I know that my friends and colleagues must be sick of getting the emails as well. (Hint, please give any type of donation and I'll stop bothering you.) I think that if I am able to start the race knowing that I have et my fundraising goal that I will feel a lot more relaxed about the race.
As Thanksgiving approaches (can't believe it is in a week) I think back to this time last year. A year ago this coming Saturday I was in Los Angeles with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. My sister and I went for a run that was about 3 miles. It was the first time that we had ever been able to run together. It meant a lot to me because it showed me how far I had come in the previous 6 months. This Saturday I am going to run 10 miles. There is a little piece of me, though, that wishes I was going to be taking that same 3 mile run with my sister. Last year, there was no doubt that she was a better runner than I was. This year I know that I could take her --- even with my "achilles heel".
While I am getting in my 10 miles on Saturday I am just going to think back to last year and the feeling of complete joy that I felt by simply being able to keep up with my sister on that run last year. Remembering that feeling of pure exhilaration may make 10 miles seem like an exciting run instead of simply logging in miles.
The story is that when Achilles was a baby that it was foretold that he would die in battle from an arrow in the foot. To prevent his death his mother took him to the River Styx, which was supposed to offer powers on invincibility. His mother dipped Achilles' body into the water, however, she held him by the heel. His heel, therefore, wasn't washed over by the magical water. Achilles grew up to be a man of war; he survived many incredible battles and was thought of as a hero. One day a poisonous arrow was shot at him and was lodged in his heel --- the arrow killed him as his heel hadn't been protected by the water. It is from Greek mythology that the expression of an "Achilles heel" came to be known as someone's area of weakness,
For me, at least in relation to running, my "achilles heel" is my achilles tendon. My achilles tendon holds me back and I always have a nagging sense of fear (well, maybe not that strong) that I am going to hurt it again and really be out of the game for a long time. My achilles tendon starts to cramp after 5 or so miles and no matter what I do or how much endurance I have, the cramps come. Then comes the inflammation, the stretching, the ice baths, and a little bit of limping. My achilles tendon was doing pretty well post-surgery until my mileage started to increase. Now, as the half-marathon is just about 2 weeks away I am feeling the training more than ever. I want to do well in the race but at the same time I don't want to push myself so hard that I hurt myself.
I have honestly grown to love running. Mind you I am not saying that I'm good at it, but I truly like it. The last two weeks it just hasn't been as fun, though. I've been logging the miles because I know that I have to in order to train properly but I can't say it has always brought a smile to my face. I can't wait for the half-marathon to be over because then I will be able to go back to running because I want to and run the distances that I want to when I want to. Sure, I will likely still wear my watch but that is more to feed my "inner geek" with the stats than the actual time on the clock.
I've also been frustrated because I am about $600 away from my fundraising goal. I really want to meet my fundraising goal. I am sick of sending out emails asking people to donate to a cause that i deem worthy and meaningful. I know that my friends and colleagues must be sick of getting the emails as well. (Hint, please give any type of donation and I'll stop bothering you.) I think that if I am able to start the race knowing that I have et my fundraising goal that I will feel a lot more relaxed about the race.
As Thanksgiving approaches (can't believe it is in a week) I think back to this time last year. A year ago this coming Saturday I was in Los Angeles with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. My sister and I went for a run that was about 3 miles. It was the first time that we had ever been able to run together. It meant a lot to me because it showed me how far I had come in the previous 6 months. This Saturday I am going to run 10 miles. There is a little piece of me, though, that wishes I was going to be taking that same 3 mile run with my sister. Last year, there was no doubt that she was a better runner than I was. This year I know that I could take her --- even with my "achilles heel".
While I am getting in my 10 miles on Saturday I am just going to think back to last year and the feeling of complete joy that I felt by simply being able to keep up with my sister on that run last year. Remembering that feeling of pure exhilaration may make 10 miles seem like an exciting run instead of simply logging in miles.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)